I was inspired this morning by one of the most honest and authentic interviews I've seen in a long time. Tyler Joseph of the band twenty one pilots sat down and talked to FaceCulture about being weird, finding joy and inner peace, finding purpose, and being messed up human beings. The whole interview is worth watching. If you want to see it in its entirety you can check out PART ONE and PART TWO. In the meantime, I wanted to focus on what was said towards the very end of the interview:
"If I were to take how it is I treat people around me in the same way that I treat a social setting, that means I would stand up right now and I would kick that lamp over... because there's something wrong."
This issue has been on my heart for a while now. Why do people treat others so poorly even when they don't want to?
Why do I have to raise my voice when I'm angry instead of maintaining a calm tone? How do I lose control of my mouth and say something sarcastic just to get back at someone, instead of dealing with the situation like a mature adult?
One example in particular comes to mind. Saturdays are notoriously busy and chaotic in the fast food world, and Chick-fil-A is no exception (because everyone has to get their fill before Sunday, I guess). There was one Saturday in particular not too long ago that was abnormally chaotic. In addition to being in the middle of lunch rush, there was a spill in the dining room, a guest ordered an item off the catering menu without calling ahead and was demanding to know why it wasn't ready yet, there was a birthday party going on and the kids were ready for dessert, and to top it all off, we were short-staffed. The phone was probably ringing too. I was the shift supervisor at the time so it was my responsibility to maintain control of the various situations, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it...
... until I lost control of myself.
One of my coworkers came to me and very sweetly asked if she could perform a specific task to help things move along more smoothly. For reasons I still don't understand, I stopped what I was doing, slammed my hands down on the counter, and snapped at her to leave me alone until things calmed down.
The truth is, nothing was going to calm down until I calmed down, and I didn't even know I was worked up until that moment of weakness. By the look on her face I could tell that my coworker was taken aback and probably offended by my response. Honestly, I was probably just as taken aback and offended as she was. We both knew that this was uncharacteristic for me.
You know that saying, "It was the straw that broke the camel's back". Well, my back broke, and it was the tiniest piece of straw that broke it.
I kicked the lamp.
When was the last time you kicked a lamp? Not literally (and I won't judge you if you have literally kicked over a lamp), but figuratively. Do you hear yourself calling someone a name before you even realize you thought of the name in the first place? Does a preconceived notion of someone ever cause you to shoot them a dirty look? When was the last time you yelled at your parents or a sibling?
Let me tell you, I've kicked over many lamps in my day. I just can't figure out why.
Tyler Joseph seems to be on the right track. I am sitting across from a lamp even now as I write this, just like he was in the interview, and I know that I'm not supposed to go and kick it over.
I know I'm not supposed to do a lot of things:
- Dishonor my parents. (Ephesians 6:1)
- Lie. (Exodus 20:16)
- Act (or speak) out in anger. (Proverbs 29:11)
- Be selfish. (Philippians 2:3)
- Judge others. (Matthew 7:1)
Sometimes I feel like I'm just fooling myself. I tell myself that I don't want to do any of these things, and yet I find myself doing them on a regular basis. I think that Paul, Tyler, and I are always going to struggle with bewilderment because of all this. Something in our human condition is broken.
Tyler says, "... the way that we live is proof that there's an element there that's just not right."
As much as I want to make it right, I know that I can't, but I am going to use all of this and Tyler's comparison as a reminder to myself to keep myself under control, and to treat people with love and respect as often as I can. When I feel myself getting angry or frustrated, or if I start to lose control, I'm just going to have to remind myself, don't kick the lamp...
I think some of Tyler Joseph's own lyrics offer an explanation for our problem:
"We're broken
We're broken
We're broken
We're broken people
We're broken people"
That we are, Tyler. That we are.
