Why Getting Married In College Was The BEST Decision I've Ever Made
My Spouse Is Not My Soul Mate
My Spouse IS My Soul Mate
40 Signs That You're Dating Your Future Spouse
400 Signs That You're Dating The Wrong Person
Tips For Dating The Right Guy
Tips For Dating The Right Girl
I'm not trying to bash these posts, but I do have to wonder why there are so many of them out there all of a sudden. There just seems to be a bit of a surplus, in my opinion.
With all that said, I'm going to post one of my own... sort of.
Another trend I've noticed is that many of these posts usually result in a conversation about how women are being objectified by modern society. I mean, seriously. Have you heard of the new "thigh gap" craze? Women (especially models) are now under pressure to make sure that their thighs don't touch. Ridiculous, right? It's true. Women are held up to unrealistic standards. They are expected to have the perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect eye color, perfect lips, perfect breasts, perfect waist, perfect clothes... even perfect personalities. These expectations unconsciously come from what is put in front of us. Society says that in order to be a successful woman, you have to look like Jennifer Lawrence or something.
Is it unrealistic? Yes. Is it fair? Of course not.
Is it a one-way street? No. That is my main concern.
Aren't men being held up to an unrealistic expectation too? Women aren't the only ones who are being objectified by the media and pop culture. Almost every man you see on TV or on the front cover of a magazine has good hair, attractive 5 o'clock shadow (which I thought was an oxymoron), sharp clothes, big muscles, and an expression that says, "I've got it all together".
I'm starting to wonder whether or not this gives girls an unrealistic idea of what to look for in a partner. Oh, I also can't help but wonder why the different posts and articles that advocate for realistic dating/marriages always have a picture of the unrealistic-looking airbrushed men and women described above somewhere in the post.
I'm not trying to say that I'm against celebrities or models or anything like that. I just don't think it's fair to the rest of the world for us to expect our future (or current, or maybe even past) husbands and wives to be like them. And a lot of them probably are really good, hardworking people. Unfortunately, that's not the side we get to see.
My main concern is that there aren't more conversations happening about men being objectified and held up to unrealistic standards, because they really are, and it's really sad. Guys, seriously... you deserve be loved, cared for, and respected. I just want to encourage you to live up to the standard God has given you, not the one society tries to spoon feed us. You should not be compared to Brad Pitt, or whoever the current sexiest man on earth is. Sexiness does not equal respect, and respect is what you deserve, so seek that and everything else God has for you.
My secondary concern is that all of these expectations are setting up our dating relationships and marriages for failure. If we see what society and the media deems as perfection all day every day, how are we supposed to learn to love our imperfect partners?
Quite frankly, I would rather have my marriage look more like this than anything that gets depicted in the magazines:
Have you ever seen this on the cover of a marriage magazine?
I haven't, but maybe we should have...
